THIS SCARES THE SH!T OUT OF ME. I THINK THAT’S WHY I NEED TO DO IT.

It’s been a little quiet around here lately, hasn’t it?

I have lots of good reasons for that, but when I sit down, take them all out, lay them on the floor around me, I see a pattern emerge, a theme, a common thread running through them—a foundational reason why I haven’t been present with you—even though, more than anything, I want to be.

I’ve got journals, scraps of paper, voice memos, note cards, and Google docs filled with things I want to share—flashes of insight and wisps of wisdom that are just sitting there, waiting and wondering why I’m ignoring them.

And why am I not sharing them? (No, it’s not that I’m too busy, or that the book is taking up all of my time, or that my dog needs yet another walk—which he does, but that’s not the reason).

It’s because, for way too long, I have felt like I need to “know the answer before I raise my hand." Like I have to excavate the perfect golden nugget of wisdom before I dare offer it up for inspection (and, you know, possible ridicule). But the more I make my way through the swampy bayous of writing this book, the more I realize that there is so much wisdom right here, right now, INSIDE the process of creating.

And I feel like not enough people are talking about this.

Sure lots of people are telling their stories from the other side, with all the blinding clarity that hindsight provides (heck, that’s what I’m doing with my memoir), but there aren’t enough people reporting from the trenches—vulnerably telling it like it is—from inside the beautiful mess that is creating.

My memoir has asked more of me than I ever would have thought possible, it's taken a scalpel to my subconscious and let out all sorts of ghosts and gremlins (but also many glimmers of grace and gratitude). Memoirs are no joke people.

Coming face to face with the person I was, and the tsunami of emotions this process has released, has definitely rocked my foundations, but paradoxically it’s also strengthened and stabilized them as well.

Writing about a journey of healing and acceptance (infused with a big dose of magic) will do that, I suppose.

The book and the process of writing the book are mirroring one another, they are informing one another and growing me in the process—this, I realized early on. What’s only recently become clear is that waiting to share all that I am learning until I am out the other side is a COLOSSAL WASTE OF WISDOM.

There’s too much hiding and not enough vulnerability in the world. Too much waiting for the guru on the mountaintop to come down and tell us the “right” way and not enough sharing of the secrets by those of us walking the path.

I’m done with that.

It’s time for vulnerability, visibility and a whole lot of practical wisdom (not to mention stories of synchronicity and magic, obviously) from someone making her way one baby step (and misstep) at a time.

So what’s that going to look like?

Well, in an effort to keep it as real as possible, I’m going to do something that makes me want to hide under all of the covers…  LIVE VIDEO.

No script. No do-overs. No edits. These things freak me out! Which is exactly why it’s the right choice for this mission of vulnerability. It’ll just be me and my truth, coming at you from INSIDE the #messybeautiful of my writing process and practice.

Where and when will this be happening you ask?

I’ll be going live (most) Fridays on my Facebook page, so be sure you’ve “liked” me (really, really liked me) over there, so you don’t miss any of the #messybeautiful.

With love (and shaky knees),